Puzzler Answer, 9/20/97: Re-FUSING to fix the brakes
RAY: Hey! You'll never in a million years guess what it's time for?
TOM: A break? Are we on break?
RAY: No!
TOM: A nap.
RAY: It's time to answer last week's Puzzler.
TOM: No kidding.
RAY: Last week's Puzzler. Boy, it's been a long time since I've...
TOM: And here we are and I can't remember it. You mean the Puzzler is back?
RAY: Back? Back and front.
TOM: It was back last week,Êand you would think with such a momentous day as the return of the Puzzler, number one of the season that I would remember it.
RAY: Well, the Puzzler it was sore. It was very disappointed. It was angry; it was sore because no flowers were here. I mean there was nothing. No fanfare. No trumpets. No dancing girls. No nothing.
TOM: And I don't remember it, which means I guess no one takes it very seriously.
RAY: I guess not except I take it seriously.
TOM: Except you.
RAY: OK, here it is.
TOM: Yeah, go ahead. I will remember it.
RAY: You will in a second. A customer shows up at the garage the other day. First time in a long time we had a customer. He's an elderly gentlemen, and he's got some old jalopy. He says, "my car is running really lousy, and I need some of that fuel system additive that you guys sell."
RAY: Still nothing, huh?
TOM: Still don't remember.
RAY: And we sell this stuff. I don't know what it is, but it's composed of lizard lips and aleppo galls.
TOM: Aleppo galls. Bruised aleppo galls.
RAY: Bruised.
TOM: By the way I found out what an aleppo gall is. I will tell you later.
RAY: All right, oyster shells, etc. So I sell him a can of this stuff, which he is going to put in his gas tank and I'm not really listening to him but he says, "it's running lousy. I'm getting terrible mileage. I've got to do something. It diesels when I shut it off. I can't afford to really fix it." So he says, "what do I do with this stuff?" I tell him, "you put it in the tank; you fill the tank up with gas and drive it. I mean it won't work unless you drive it. You've got to drive it man. Because if it's going to clean the carburetor, you gott a drive it!" He says, "will this work? Will my mileage improve?" I said, "no, I don't think so." But he buys it anyway. Several hours later he calls me up. He says, "I've been driving around in stop and go traffic since I saw you last since I bought the aleppo galls from you." I say, "yes, yes, is the car fixed?" He says, "no, no. Furthermore, I don't have any brakes. I think a blew a brake line. The pedal went down to the floor."
TOM: Brakes, I remember this now.
RAY: It's being towed in. He says, "it won't get there before you guys close, but it will be waiting for you tomorrow morning." Sure enough we arrive the next morning to find his car with the keys under the mat. I tell one of my guys, "check out Ed's car but be careful because I think he blew a brake line or something" because he said he had what -- no brakes. Twenty minutes later the mechanic hands me the keys and says, "it's all fixed."
TOM: Whoo.
RAY: Of course I ask, "what did you do?" He said, "I replaced the fuse." To which I said, "you knuckle head. he had no brakes." He said, "I replaced a fuse. The car is all fixed. The question was how did replacing a fuse fix Ed's car.
TOM: This is very good. I have no idea. I remember it now.
RAY: The car -- I don't remember exactly the year of the car, but it was an old Pontiac T1000, which was also a Chevette. This car has an electric choke, which has a fuse. When the fuse blew, the choke wouldn't open. The car ran lousy. Got what? Lousy mileage, dieseled when he shut it off. It ran lousy. Because the thing was racing all the time because the choke was partially closed...
TOM: No vacuum to the booster.
RAY: No, he had an automatic transmission card, and he was working against the throttle every time he was riding the car in stop and go traffic.
TOM: Boiling the fluid!
RAY: Look back at page seven of the Puzzler. He was in stop and go traffic.
TOM: I remember that.
RAY: Riding that brake. But it was dieseling riding with one foot on the gas pedal and one foot on the brake. Every time he went to slow down, he had to step extra hard on the pedal. The brakes got overheated; the brake fluid boiled. He lost his brakes.
TOM: Whoo.
RAY: Of course when he towed it in and everything cooled off, the brakes came back.
TOM: The brakes were fine.
RAY: My guy pulls it in and says there is nothing wrong with the breaks. But after running it for awhile, realizes that the choke ain't opening. The thing is racing at 2500 rpm. He puts a fuse in. Bingo. It's fixed. I mean was that the most stellar of the Puzzler.
TOM: Of the first season.
RAY: Was that the best one of the season so far?
TOM: It was the best one of the season, but it was a little bit arcane. I mean...
RAY: Well, it was arcane.
TOM: An electric choke with a fuse. A T1000 of which there were only six sold.
RAY: Well, no, there were many cars that had chokes with fuses. I just happen to pick this one.
TOM: Now if we happen to have a winner here...
RAY: We do have a winner.
TOM: Wait a minute. My God we do.
RAY: Crusty who?
TOM: The winner this week is Dale Gadd, G-a-d-d from Corona, California and for having his or her, we don't know, correct answer randomly selected by our distinguished panel of judges, Dale is going to win one of our brand new, multi-colored tenth anniversary -- tenth anniversary? Tenth anniversary Car Talk t-shirts complete with our slogan, "celebrating ten years of bad car advice." Congratulations to you Dale, the first winner of this, the new Puzzler season, and I am happy.
RAY: Of course congratulations Dale, whoever you may be.
TOM: And whatever you may be.
[ Car Talk Puzzler ]
