Warning Labels
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...
ON A HAIRDRYER:
*Do not use while sleeping.
ON A BAG OF FRITOS:
*You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP:
*Directions: Use like regular soap.
FROZEN DINNER SERVING SUGGESTION:
*Defrost.
ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX:
*Fits one head.
ON TESCO'S TIRAMISU DESERT:
*Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)
ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING:
*Product will be hot after heating.
ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON:
*Do not iron clothes on body.
ON BOOTS' CHILDREN'S COUGH MEDICINE:
*Do not drive car or operate machinery.
ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID):
*Warning: May cause drowsiness.
ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE:
*Warning: Keep out of children.
ON A STRING OF CHINESE-MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS:
*For indoor or outdoor use only.
ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR:
*Not to be used for the other use.
ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS:
*Warning: contains nuts
ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES' PACKET OF NUTS:
*Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW:
*Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
Christopher Felo
