From Linda Fields of Framingham, Massachusetts:
The victim said her attacker was nondescript 5' 10 and 3/4", 163 pounds, with Clairol #83N hair (a hint of #84N at his temples) and last seen wearing Acuvue2 contacts, a white Hanes 65/35% poly-cotton t-shirt with a 3mm round Grey Poupon stain on the neckband, Levi's 501s missing the second button, and Nike Cross Trainers with muddy anklets.
From Mary Montiel, of Wichita, Kanas:
The goose waddled slowly, heavily, across the road, exactly the way my mother-in-law would if she were a goose.
From Christin Keck of Kent, Ohio:
She looked at her hands and saw the desiccated skin hanging in Shar-Pei wrinkles, confetti-like freckles, and those dry, dry cuticles even her "Fatale Crimson" nail color had faded in the relentless sun to the color of old sirloin and she vowed if she ever got out of the Sahara alive, she'd never buy polish on sale at Walgreen's again.
From Lawrence Person in Austin, Texas:
Frank took one look at Tina's moderately shapely legs, her adequate waist, her decent bosom, and her not-unattractive face, and said to himself "Well, hello, Miss You'll-Do-Until-Something-Better-Comes-Along!"
Excerpted from The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.
[ As Read on Car Talk
]