A friend of ours described the Navigator as "a Ford Expedition...that J. C. Whitney threw up on."

The Navigator is, basically, a Ford Expedition. The major difference is that it's got a 5.4-liter instead of a 4.6-liter engine--which, by the way, ought to be against the law. Why? Get this: The EPA rating for this car is 12 miles per gallon in the city, 16 miles per gallon on the highway. In this day and age, that's downright obscene! Quite frankly, we think this is a ridiculous vehicle to own.

We didn't care much for the Expedition, either. It's not that these vehicles aren't well built. It's not that there's anything wrong with them technically. We just think they're too doggone big, consarn it! If we had to choose between the two, we'd choose the Ford Expedition.

Why? It's not quite as garishly appointed, and the ride is slightly firmer. The Navigator's handling is "squishier," to borrow an adjective from the automotive sciences. That's not to say it was bad, but it certainly could have been better.

There's no doubt about it--the Navigator is comfortable on long rides. Our Producer, Dougie Berman, took it to Pennsylvania one weekend. Of course, it cost him $1,386 to fuel the beast, but it was an extremely comfortable ride. And, being that most of it was on highways designed for tractor-trailers, there wasn't a lot of trouble handling the corners.

The Navigator, by the way, has a completely useless running board. A running board, if you remember correctly, is supposed to assist one in getting in and out of the vehicle. Well, in this case, the genius designers at Lincoln decided that they'd incorporate a narrow running board that, for all intents and purposes, was just for looks. The end result? The only function of the Navigator's running board is to collect mud, dirt and water...so when you do get out, you have to step over the running board to get to the ground--and you get mud on the back of your pants in the process. Someone's idea of aesthetics? Nice design, guys!

If you compare getting in and out of the Navigator to getting on and off a horse, you're all set--and you won't be disappointed. Get a running start, and go for it. Most of the time, you should make it just fine.

If you live in or near a city, there could not be a worse car for you to own. Need to parallel park somewhere? Forget it. You might as well drive over a few cars and park on top of them.

So, who should buy this car? Well, if you live out in the sticks, don't mind spending 35 bucks every time you stop to fill up (and trust us, you'll become good friends with Norm at the Kwik Stop) and you've got a big family and loads of gear to haul around, you might want to take a look at the Navigator. But don't come whining to us when gas goes up to the $4 a gallon it ought to be priced at.

We predict that this will be a hugely popular car...in Texas. The Navigator is big and fancy, which makes it perfect for the average Texan. It also needs all that space between Plano and Midland just to make a three-point turn.

A final note: The Navigator has one great feature--it comes with a toilet bowl built into the back seat. Okay, it's not a toilet bowl. But, c'mon, it sure looks like a toilet bowl, doesn't it? Now, who was the slanthead at Lincoln who dreamed up this aesthetic touch? It's only a matter of time before someone's 3-year-old lifts the lid and...well, you get the idea.

View cars.com model report on this vehicle.

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